Departure
by Mizer Manakins
Summary: Tai mourns the death of his love, Yamato. He visits his grave often, leaving a red rose with each visit... TAITO kinda angsty...


**Departure**

**By Mizer Manakins**

**Manakins says:** A dreary one shot. I got really depressed after reading Sakura's fic, and this one has been sitting in the back of my mind for a while. My problem is I want to write short fics, but I have to make sure I don't use things from my plans for another, ya know? I didn't write it in conventional paragraphs because it just didn't feel right… okay? I'm sad… What kind of horrible person am I?

**Dedication: **LonelyWalker and DrippingRed! My girls! You review AND email me back! That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

Oh LonelyWalker, its so your type! Yamato dead(not so much in yours) and Tai in mourning... I loved 'Beast of Blood'. But NO this is NOT some kind of cheap ripoff! I wouldn't do that! But it's certainly not happy.

Dripping Red, I'm so glad I have a reader like you! So nice! Here's another story!

Get down, limitless night…. I just couldn't resist! XD What am I being silly for? I'm such a meanie! But I love my dedicated fans! Yay! No. Now it's boohoo. I'm so… depressed.

Reviews are the only thing keeping me here right now. Life here sucks at the moment, and I've got an evil one out to get me. SHE'S THE DEVIL, I SWEAR!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Digimon. Okay? It's kinda getting tiring writing this… but I guess I have to… Oh, and I don't own Shakespeare.

* * *

If only I had known sooner. I would have been able to fix things… Everything would be all right, and I wouldn't have to be here… again. I visit you often, but I can't help but blame myself.

I curse myself every day. If only I had been smarter, more alert…

If only I cared for you more than I already did, more than I still do.

You did it because of me. I upset you, and you stopped eating.

I should have noticed…

But I was too wrapped up in my soccer tournament, the games, the practices…

You were paler than usual, ghostly, almost.

You lost weight rapidly, and I paid no mind.

The longer it went on, the quieter you got.

I spoke too late.

I could have saved you, I just know it.

If only you knew how much I cared, maybe you wouldn't have done that to yourself.

The others tell me there was nothing I could do, but they're wrong.

They just don't get it.

Not one of them cared for you as much as I did.

None of them felt the same way about you.

They'll always have each other, and I have no one left.

I don't deserve to have friends as wonderful as they are.

And as wonderful as you were.

So I am here alone.

With the only friend I'll ever have again.

You rest here forever, and I'll come by often.

I talk to you, but I know you'll never answer.

The inscription on your headstone moves me so.

It's so you, Yama.

* * *

Yamato Ishida

1987-2004

'_I'll be back, I promise you this. _

_Don't get lonely. _

_Just know that I love you. _

_Know that I'm still there for you. _

_Know that we'll be together until the end of time._

_No one will stop us._

_We'll be for eternity'_ Yamato Ishida, Teenage Wolves – 'Yakusoku'

His untimely departure leaves an empty void in the hearts of his friends and family.

May he rest in sweet peace.

* * *

But I know you're not coming back.

You're gone and you'll never come back for me.

I'm the one that let him die, so why should you?

I know I wouldn't.

I know you're sorry, though.

This is the only promise to me you will not keep, and I know how much promises meant to you.

And even if you did keep this one, I'm not sure I'd know what to do.

If you were to somehow return to me, I'd die right along with you.

I don't deserve anyone anymore.

I confide in you.

You know my darkest thoughts.

And I know you'll never tell.

And I only wish you could.

I lay a deep red rose in front of your headstone every time I visit.

I know they were your favorites.

At least, that's what you told me once.

Your secret. Now it's our secret.

It's all a distant memory now. We'll never be the same.

You won't ever let that beautiful voice rise to the sky ever again.

I'll never be able to listen.

I'll never look upon your angelic beauty ever again.

It's my punishment.

But I'll never forget you. You, my sweet Yamato, are forever burned into my mind.

Your smile. Your laugh. The way your hair would fall in your eyes when you ran out of hairspray.

I remember I used to laugh. Somehow, I can't bring myself to it.

I will always remember every little thing about you until the day I join you, my love.

Then we truly will rule the skies.

Together.

I can't help but think of what could have been.

I think of what a rock star you could have been if only I didn't drive you to this.

You could have been great.

And…

We could have been together.

I know I should have told you much sooner.

But that's our secret too.

I'll never tell Takeru. I know you didn't want that.

Let's just let him be. This is still too much for him.

I feel rather sorry for him. You know you were his role model, right?

Even after he didn't need you as much, he still needed you around.

Yamato, you bastard. Why did you have to go and just die on us all?

I can't say I hate you, because you're a dead man.

Perfect in every sense of the word, but I suppose I never could hate you.

But I hate that word.

Dead.

It's so final.

I hate everything everyone says you are.

You have passed on.

Passed away.

Gone to the great beyond.

Headed for a better place.

But your still with me, Yama.

They'll never understand it.

You live on.

You'll forever be in my heart.

I guess I should tell you.

The doctor said you died of malnutrition.

I still don't know why you did that.

You said you'd just be at a friend's in the country…

So why this?

You went to the abandoned house and starved yourself.

The shock when they found you… it tore us all to bits.

Your father is a mess without you around.

Takeru and his mother are having a hard time now. They always argue.

Sora, she tried to keep us all happy, but she's not the type to handle this well.

Mimi… She doesn't talk much anymore. I don't get that. You two were never really close, so… I guess deep down she wishes she could have been better friends with you.

Jyou. Well, being the analytical mind he is, seems to understand that there's no hoping you're returning, but now he wraps himself up in his studies more than usual.

And Koushiro never leaves his computer. It's just the shock of it all. He's not used to this type of thing, ya know?

Kari is constantly trying to cheer up you brother, but I know she misses you. You were like her other older brother.

Everyone is just so messed up.

But I miss you like none of them could ever know.

My heart has been ripped into tiny pieces and threw all around me.

It's now the puzzle only we can fix together.

I know I'll never love again.

I can't betray you like that.

And it's not like I could, even if I wanted to.

My soul lies with you, six feet under.

All that I used to be died when the news came in that you were gone.

You knew you would die. They gave us your note.

_'How to apologize for this? I cannot find the words. "Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find a grave man." I know it's not right for me to joke about it, but… I only hope you all will forgive me. I know this is foolish, but… I don't know what else to say. I would try to fix it, but it seems like it's become my incurable addiction. I will miss you… And it's not your fault. None of you are to blame for my own stupidity._'

How sweet.

Dammit, Yamato!

You say it's not my fault, but think again. What got you there?

I drove you mad. I was afraid of my own feelings, and I never admitted my feelings to you until it was too late.

Why?

I'll never know why you did it.

You'll never tell.

And I know I'll miss you more.

You were the reason for my life.

Now I am reduced to a lost soulless creature, who's sole purpose is to mourn over you until my own departure.

You have left me an empty shell.

I know if you were somehow here, you'd tell me to stop being such a baby.

I try, but it's hard to live without you, knowing you'll never be by my side.

And so I lay another rose by your headstone, and leave you be.

Leave you, until my next visit, of course.

Unless I depart from this world between now and then, I shall see you here at this dreary place.

But I suppose either way, I'll see you, be it in this world or the next.

Until next time, my beautiful angel.

* * *

**About Yamato's b-day:** I have no idea what year he is supposedly born in, so I just made him three years older than me. And made him die sometime last year. Wha?… I MADE him DIE? I'm a horrible person…

Yakusoku – promise (That is right, ne?)

**Manakins says some more:** Okay. I'm sad. I can't go watch X like I wanted to, for fear that I'll die too. I just had to quote Shakespeare. That is one of my favorite lines from my all time favorite character. (Did I get the wording right? I don't have a copy of it, so…) I just love Mercutio. I love his speech before he dies… O h m y g o d. That was awesome. But really, it takes a lot of nerve to joke around as you die. Nice one. _Romeo and Juliet_'s really not that great except for MERCUTIO. He was the character I wanted to read in my English class, but noooooo. My English teacher stuck me as Juliet. Boo! Thank God we were only reading it! So… anyone like? I like one shots… I actually feel like I accomplish something. And yes, I _am_ working on Memoir, but… I found footing in the beginning of Chapter 4, so I'm good! But I'm so sad… Tai was so different… Not our goggle-headed hero of first season anymore… It's sad. And bad Matt! How dare you starve yourself to death and not have a good reason! Jerk!

I gotta go… I'm so sad. How could I? I don't know, really… And yes, Matt was anorexic. What's new? It fits him, though. I know it's been used so many times, but he's also been a cutter, a drunk, a druggie, and who knows what else, so this is good for me.

Ja

Mizer Manakins


End file.
